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Dogs and Cats

message posted 17-May-10 19:59:11
And not the play.....Real ones.....

I shoo him away…another comes up, and they look at me like, ‘What gives, dude…we rule here…got a problem?’
They stared me down…..
What the fk?

Service, please.....' Now stressy.....
A couple runts stroll by….looking cool and without a care in the world…
‘Dogs bitch slap you?’ They miaow my way…. ‘don’t even think it our way…we’ll give it to you worse….’
Fk this......
On cue, house mistress comes by, glares at me, calls pets by names, so sexy, bet even hubby has forgotten what its like to be addressed in this fashion…..
The day before, a call came from a friend, 'please help out my buddy in Dartmouth....'

Beautiful place, quaint....huge set up....
Fkn dogs and cats trawl over the fkn place, and well pissed off I don't want them by the aga, much less the kitchen.

First thing in mind...'what the hell have I let muself in for?'
All night I'd been wiping off black hair off plates, puddinngs and potatoes, thinking the house mistress needs to hook up a salon totty!!!

Now the proprietor is giving me lip on how good and fastidious he is with the safer and better business crap!
The freezer needs defrosting....muggins here got to do it.
I look inside, I saw a seal take a dive, and an albatross sneak up on a puffin! Arctic blizzard, snow flakes, ice-crystals, ice-bergs...any minute I expect to see Ice-man!
I forgot to mention the seals on freezer and fridges need mucking out!
Yes….mucking out……The animal fur, grease and whatever else is grottily and permanently affixed! Never been mopped in almost few days going....
Sick is understating it.....

Two weeks before I arrived, the EHO was charmed by the tranquillity of a stream flowing by the bedroom window just below the headboard....and the beauty of sexy South Hams; did not bother looking around and went away saying, 'When you get a chef, I will come in for a chat.'
What the fk was going on in the present?

And they were bragging how good they were at sorting out the EHO!
The floors and under the tables was a horror movie....shame, for it is a nice house....
What of the vermin that shit all over the napkins, kitchen and glass cloths, -nesting above the washing machines.....because they are pets....!
They required of me to update their Handbook, all of a year gone…the very thought had me having kittens……
I didn't last.......cannot even bring myself to apologise to my friend for the let down...I think I deserve the apology!
Crazy chef…….
message posted 17-May-10 20:16:34
Ok Mate , that is the worst description I have ever me gently !!

Your mate needs to buy you a case !!!
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