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All Funny Stories Here

message posted 04-Dec-06 23:19:21
A sushi chef offered up some seaweed last week to a cook from another restaurant and got punched in return, according to an Eagle County Sheriff's report.

An employee of the other restaurant called the chef, whom he knew, to borrow seaweed. The chef initially didn't want to the lend the seaweed but eventually agreed. During the call, the chef also insulted the cook at the employee's restaurant.

The employee picked up the seaweed. Meanwhile, the cook called the chef and asked why he started a war he couldn't finish and threatened to come over. At closing time the cook called again and told the chef if he didn't come over to his restaurant, he'd see him around town. The chef went to the other restaurant and the cook punched him in the face and left.

A deputy went to alleged assailant's restaurant a few days later to get the cook's side, but a lawyer advised him not to make a statement. The cook then said the sushi chef hit him in the head, which two witnesses never saw. The cook wanted to file charges and decided to make a statement.

In the end, the deputy ticketed the cook for third-degree assault.

message posted 04-Dec-06 23:29:12
KUALA LUMPUR: A Japanese restaurant chef who was charged with masturbating in public claimed he had a skin disorder that caused him to remove his pants to “scratch” his private parts.

Joenaidey Ramis, through his lawyer Jagdish Kaur, told a magistrate's court here that he was suffering from tinea, an infection of the skin caused by fungi.

The 25-year-old chef however admitted to committing the offence on Feb 2 last year around 10.30am at the level 5 parking lot of Berjaya Times Square in front of a 24-year-old shampoo girl.

According to the facts of the case, Joenaidey had followed the complainant on the day of the offence and masturbated beside her car at the same parking lot.

The court heard how scared the complainant felt a few days after the incident, on Feb 6 when the accused stared at her at the parking lot.

Jagdish Kaur, in mitigation, told the court that her client was remorseful over the incident and had apologised to the complainant, her boyfriend and the security guard immediately after that.

According to the lawyer, Joenaidey was embarrassed that he even wanted to quit his job but his employer stopped him from doing so.

She also asked for the offence not to be recorded as her client was planning to work in Singapore as a chef.

Prosecuting officer C/Insp D.R. Ghanthi Nathan asked for a fitting sentence, saying the case involved public interest and the complainant was greatly affected by the incident.

Magistrate Nor Aziati Jaafar fined Joenaidey RM1,500 in default two months' jail.

The chef paid the fine.

message posted 04-Dec-06 23:32:51
Not realy funny but worth a read

Oliver finds too much heat in the kitchen
Elizabeth Meryment
December 02, 2006
LAST week Channel 10 screened an astonishingly frank piece of television called Jamie's Australian Diary which showed just how unhappy superstar chef Jamie Oliver was during his visit to Australia.
It's hard to believe Oliver allowed the show to be screened or even made, and it has to be said that a large part of the documentary is comprised of him complaining about the intrusion of cameras into almost every moment during his stay.

Oliver visited Sydney and Melbourne in September to make a brief cameo on Jamie's Kitchen Australia, about the making of Melbourne's Fifteen restaurant, and for sundry publicity. He also did a couple of stage shows in each city, and a barrage of media, most of it banal, including one radio interview in a lift.

The show revealed that, behind the scenes, Oliver was tired, jet-lagged, homesick, bored, pining for his children, referred to his own stage shows as embarrassing garbage, was fed up with celebrity, sick of cooking in front of audiences and generally a miserable human being.

He was disdainful of the media in particular. On one occasion, while waiting to appear on Andrew Denton's Enough Rope, he seemed actively contemptuous of the host, asking just before going on, "Are we cooking tonight?"

For a talented young man, who at 31 is one of England's most recognisable faces, Oliver seems to be slumping into some sort of "quarterlife" crisis.

Last year's Jamie's Great Italian Escape, in which the chef spent a couple of lonely months roaming Italy learning how to cook real Italian food, was also instructive. The star seemed to spend half his time on the telephone calling his wife, Jools, begging her to dash to Tuscany to celebrate his birthday, a plea she ignored.

Food Detective wonders if, for Oliver, the bubble has burst.
message posted 01-Feb-07 23:25:39

Ramsays Toilet Nightmares

Not content with giving the food at Gordon Ramsay’s first New York restaurant a roasting, the city’s top critic has now had a go at his toilets.

The New York Times’ legendary Frank Bruni, who yesterday complained that the fancy eaterie was not exciting enough, said fiddly locks meant he had twice barged in on other diners availing themselves of the facilities.

Although the problem seemed to have been fixed since his first visit to Gordon Ramsay at the London he still had to take extra care fastening the doors on later trips and companions said it caused them “stress and confusion”.

“Those swinging doors have to be positioned so precisely vis-á-vis the locking mechanism, and that mechanism has to be finessed with such delicacy that some diners don’t succeed in locking their restroom doors,” Bruni wrote on his blog.

“How do I know this?

"Because on my very first visit to the Ramsay restaurants in the London NYC Hotel, during my very first attempt to use a restroom, I twice in a row pushed on the door of a restroom that hadn’t been successfully locked, felt it give, began to take a step inside and…encountered another diner!”
message posted 03-Mar-07 18:31:57
Cassic, wish I had thought of that.

LINZ, Austria: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water — well, it is, actually.

A mystery triggered this week by the bizarre discovery of the carcass of a meter-long (3-foot-long) shark in a freshwater river in northern Austria ended Saturday when the man who put it there confessed it had been just a joke.

The prankster, an apprentice chef working at a hotel in the province of Upper Austria, told the newspaper Oesterreich that he put the dead shark in the river Voeckla after it began to smell while he was thawing it out for a buffet.

Its discovery on the riverbank earlier this week caused a stir, with Austrian experts hard-pressed to explain what a shark was doing in a freshwater stream in the landlocked alpine country.

The chef, whose name was not released, told the newspaper that several regular customers were in on the joke and had placed bets on how long they could keep the controversy going
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