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andy1905
andy1905

ELF & ELF ATTORNEYS TO SANTA

message posted 15-Dec-08 15:36:03
DEAR SIRS
IT HAS BEEN RECENTLY REPORTED THAT A MR K/MAN ONE OF YOUR MEMBERS AND PR TO GORDON RAMSEY HAS MADE ALLEGATIONS ABOUT A SEXUAL LIASON BETWEEN HIS CLIENT AND MY CLIENTS WIFE. MRS CLAUSE DENIES ALL ALLEGATIONS AND STATES THAT THE ONLY TIME SHE HAS FELT SCREWED BY GORDON IS WHEN SHE BOUGHT ONE OF HIS BOOKS FOR 35 QUID. SHE ALSO STATES THAT SHE WOULDNT TOUCH HIM WITH A REINDEERS HORN.
"SHE SAYS I WOULD NEVER SHAG THAT CLEAN SHAVEN TWAT, JUST BECAUSE THAT BOY CAN TALK DIRTY DOESNT MEAN THAT I WANT TO GIVE HIM ONE ALTHOUGH SANTA AND I HAVE A LIMITED SEX LIFE DUE TOO AGE 567 & 986 AND WORK COMMITMENTS I AM HIS SECOND WIFE THE FIRST GOT CAUGHT BLOWIN AN ELF, WHEN SANTA COMES HE FILLS YOUR STOCKINGS AND THATS ENOUGH FOR ANY WOMEN ALTHOUGH I WOULDNT MIND A GO AT THAT JEAN CHRISTIPHE NOUVELLE BLOKE" ON BEHALF OF OUR CLIENT WE MUST ORDER A FULL RETRACTAL FROM MR K/MAN AND AN ASSURANCE THAT HE WONT USE MRS CLAUSE TO GET HIS CLIENT MORE PUBLICITY. OTHERWISE IN THE WORDS OF HIS CLIENT YOU WONT BE GETTING FUCK ALL FOR CHRISTMAS
SO WE SUGGEST THAT YOU LOOK ELSEWHERE FOR YOU SENSATIONAL JOURNALISM AND LEAVE MY CLIENT AND HIS EXTENDED FAMILY TO GET ON WITH GETTING ALL THE PRESENTS TO THE GOOD CHILDREN. WE WILL ALSO BE ENCOURAGING JAMIE TO GO TO GORDONS KIDS SCHOOL AND SHOW THEM HOW TO FUCK UP FOOD WITH OUT SWEARING

YOURS
ELF & ELF ATTORNEYS TO SANTA & MRS CLAUSE (ALSO KNOWN AS FATHER & MARY CHRISTMAS)
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