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embarrassed to death......chefs assssssssssssss...........

message posted 12-Jun-08 00:47:59
Hey people......
Trust you are all ok!!!!
I just have to share this with you......

There comes a time in life when sometimes you really do question your luck!!!
Got some new work shoes, feeling dandy....and life is good.
Two months later......athletes foot.
I have seen a fair few years....but athletes foot? Big stress......
Better still, with the onset of warm weather- (I suspect I must have indulged in a lot of comfort food during the cooler months)-my thighs are chaffing; towards the end of service every night, I am in agony. It's official, I am a fatty!!!!

I get to the chemist, I explain my problem...... I am thinking nice cool, aromatherapy oils......

She brings out CANESTEN. My eyes widen in horror; the chemist is full of all sorts of folk....
and she brings out Canesten! And she is talking loud, making sure everybody knows I've got a Canesten-solution problem. mouth open, no words, I am desperately shaking my head, squinting, giving her dagger eyes...suck in my doesn't get! I am turming away, making believe she has got our prescription confused with some one else' deal.
Pretty eighteen year old girls sniggering at me!
Old mamas tutting.
Geezers shaking their heads.....
What's the guy gone and dipped his************, gotta use girl cream?!!!?
You know, shame can kill you.......and I got tongue tied.....too surreal...I wasn't sure I wasn't having a bad dream.....
I was willing a lighting strike on her pretty lips-seal them for good!!

I bought the canesten.

All my female colleagues give me grief. Mates give me grief. My life is dire......
I go back to the chemists.
She gets louder, agitated I dare question her Knowledge.
Then she remembers my athletes foot problem.
That lady had it in for me. Now everyone knows and believes I am not right in most sorts.....I must be the only guy in the UK sporting a hoodie, shades and a desperate bandy-legged shuffle!

Waiting for the ASBO......

Big love...

Kitchen Bitch
Kitchen Bitch
message posted 13-Jun-08 10:21:06
I sympathise Crazy Chef. but you only have half the problems we do.

Think about it ............ Got it ?

Kitchen Bitch
message posted 01-Jul-08 23:04:54
I knew you would say that!!!!!!
No contest, I say...........Respect!
We do know we are lucky.

My problem persists.
No totty wanted the canesten, so had to bin it! Expensive....
Cornflour is no good, after a while it is like superglue!!!
Olive oil does the trick, but it messes up the trousers like incontinence on the loose....
I tried a kilt......too much venting and accessibility thus rendering me dangerously vulnerable....
Vaseline dries up after a bit.....
Aloe vera is like slapping a big mama hind-quarter on the table......
Pomace oil is ace......slide n' skid.....smooth.......slide n'skid......
I am also on a diet....drives me nuts!!!!!

live and learn......

Then two of the girlie chefs on relief got territorial mad on us.
The new one seems to have a certain element of appeal that all men find hard to resist....and she talks loads....ooh yes.....she talks into your nerves and makes one want her so......see the guys go gaga..gaga...gaga.....and she is crazy mad about food. Intuitive, cook from the belly kind of stuff.....
The older one who's wiser, more knowledgeable, firmly planted and rooted in history, culture, tradition, irritated at the new upstart......
We see it coming.......

We got them to create us a new menu for the food and beer festival......

Previously their moons had not aligned.....
Now that their moons have aligned......they get on better.......odd that...that alignment thing!

Kitchen Bitch, how does that happen?

I got a wonderful present from T-Capper....a Messemeister knife!!!
See me showing off......chopping red onions, grinning from ear to ear.....
See this angel walk past the service counter wiggling her delightful bits.....deliberately!
Messermiester is flying across bench....with parts of thumb and nail firmly attached!
On the other end....blood fountain.....and me kicking, cursin', feeling faint and squeamish....
See me not grinning's a painful grimace!
Half an hour later.....arm still raised up.....service is drawing near, rest of team is getting tetchy!!!
Sod it.......a bit of aloe-vera, cling film, grin and bear it....back to work....
The angel is the first aider.......she patches it up proper, with the help of a Czech ex-soldier.

Then my ankle goes......
Remember the karma?
She's a taken mama, and wiggles my way......ohhhh my!!!!!!!

Now I do not ever look her way!!!!!!
Kitchen Bitch
Kitchen Bitch
message posted 02-Jul-08 16:04:25
Hey Crazy Chef

Its not the moons that have aligned its the .......cycles

Get that syncronised and its a happy kitchen.

Keep up the oils, keep your "fingers" to yourself, get your cycles aligned and you will come out alive !!!

Kitchen Bitch
message posted 06-Nov-08 09:55:57
Hi Crazychef and Bitch, this is a bit heavy for me !

But im sure you two will enjoy it.

Myth: Self discipline is something that you either have or don’t have.

Fact: Self discipline is a tool that you use or don’t use.

Self discipline isn’t the result of your genetics. It isn’t something you’re born with or something you have. Self discipline is a tool and you either use it or you don’t.

Self discipline is most visible by its absence.
Think of it this way: self discipline is a skill, like knife skills in the kitchen. Did you ever see one of those TV chefs showing off his knife skills? He would chop an onion razor thin with a knife as sharp as a scalpel without even looking at his hands. Did he always have this skill? No, he simply practiced and developed it. He probably cut himself a few times as he developed his skill with the knife, but the more he used it, the better he became.

Another example: imagine you’re in Italy with your spouse and you want to find your way to the Colosseum. You don’t speak Italian, but you have a tool … an Italian dictionary! Though you sound ridiculous to the cab driver, you’re able to muddle through and communicate your desired destination. As with the knife, the more you use Italian, the better you become at it. The more you use it, the more you can make happen. The same is true for self discipline.

And the more you use it, the easier it will get. Just like with a language or with a knife in the kitchen, it gets easier and easier with repeated usage. The phrases come more naturally and the onions are chopped so thinly! Pretty soon, others think that skill is something you “have,” something innate, something that’s “inside you.” But you’ll know the truth.

If you can understand that self discipline is something you use and not something you have, then you can use it to accomplish almost any goal you set. You can use it whenever you want or leave it whenever you want.

Most people recognize this truth when it comes to learning a language or learning a new skill, but when it comes to self discipline, why do we want to believe it’s beyond our control? Why do we want to blame other people? Why do we want to say, brag even, that we don’t have it? Most people think it’s a simple character trait or a permanent part of their personality, but that’s a profound mistake.

Have you ever heard someone say, “She has such great potential, if only she had self discipline.” The fact is, everyone has access to self discipline, most people just haven’t chosen to use it. Just like everyone has access to an Italian dictionary or to a chef’s knife, everyone has access to use self discipline. We even teach it to dogs!

Instead, most people stress and worry if they “have what it takes,” They wonder if they have “it” in them, as if “it” was put there by experience, wisdom , parents, or genetics. But self discipline is never “put there,” it’s just a tool like an Italian dictionary or a chef’s knife.

You already have what it takes to succeed. Use it!

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