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Kitchen Bitch
Kitchen Bitch

If you are 30, or older, you might think this is hilarious!

message posted 13-Jul-10 12:32:32

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways. yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves.

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

There weren't any freakin' mobile phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror... Not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... You just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy play Station or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!

And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

And our parents told us to stay outside and play... All day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... You were doing chores!
And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were luckily, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or any time before!
message posted 17-Jul-10 23:24:00
I'm still on the floor splitting my sides!!!!!!!
Too bloody right, for sure...the good ol' days , huh!!

Try the chef punching your lights out for 'cocking it up' on the stove!'
If you bitched to your dad, your dad knoocked your lights out too: made you of sterner stuff, he said! And told the chef to give you more grief to get you 'right'!
So you learned quick!
These days you give a youngling grief for being a lazy ass, the whole council and tribunals, social welfare and what not come looking for you. Then they look into your home life and your own kids' welfare!

And the younglings live like as if they have no zest for do the politically correct zeigeists that linger about for class prefects and governers!

Guys, we had nookie in the walk-in freezer or wine cellars or the boss' office at five am during breakfast shift! On a good day, she-waitress or lady chef- came along and helped you with stock-take at midnite....yeah! yeah! yeah!

There's more.....the boss was a horny runt, told you not to fraternise, and yet he took all two of the French or Canadian students into the jacuzzi......all night.....

Jacuzzi or playstation?...Guess.......
Then he laughed when he got wind of your escapades.... we had loyalty...real death, blood and gore loyalty! Because you wanted it so bad and discipline, respect and regard was ace!
Now none wants it so never dared change jobs before the minimum two years! I hear you can even get driving lessons and a house on the dole...a grant towards the car and a whole lotta other bullshit, instead of working for it!!!! Effin labour government, made it so easy and pointless, it is not worth standing up and being counted for your salts!

Days when....heh......when a wedding cake was proper wedding cake!
When was the last time any of you ever had a decent wedding cake?
Wedding cakes were the highlight of doing a wedding over every single cake is a pile of shite! Patisseries are dying out? Or is the real stuff so expensive? You should see some of the bills for most, if not all the shite cakes on offer!!!!!!
Doesn't anybody ever taste or try out their wedding cake before buying?
Cardboard tastes better and is better moistened!!!!! Good grief!!!!!
Expensive wedding, expensive crap, expensive cake, and in a shot, everything falls flat! Coz of crap cake!!!!!!

Man...Kitchen got me ranting...and laughing like a is so good now, the little monster will lift up moma's skirt to get attention! Who taught it that? My teachers at school caned us with our choice of cane, from a selection of ten! Curramba! And you kept shtum about it. It wasn't cool to be an ass-hole or an idiot, or the village thicko!
Now you have an asbo, all the chicks#a fkn wonder!# and your buddies#!# all dig you great! And we are powerless to make right be right!

Vigilante squads roamed in our steal or cause damage to another's property, you were lucky if the cops got to you first, as much as you'd be on a permanent wedgie and squeaky voice! On a really good day, the vigilante adorned your neck with a burning car tyre! Absolute justice!
What? Robbing coz you had no money to feed your kids?
Go get a job! Any job...clean toilets, be a manservant..anything! There was more respect in that.We had no social welfare or sat at home dole crap!

And have it easy prison they have three square meals and all sorts of gadgets! Human rights my arse! It's far better to languish in prison than be in the real world! And the best bit is, the leaders are so fkn clueless to this obvious state!
Chain-gang the fks, make them dig roads, work the government construction for shit money, save costs-muppet#!#-whatever. get them working in chains in the height of summer or freezing cold....and they will never want back in! Or probably they are in cahoots with the politicians? Makes you wonder......
Now I am a grumpy ol' fart...........

big love
crazy chef
message posted 28-Jul-10 00:11:14
Just caught myself screaming at my teenage kids to turn that shite down thats not music it doesnt even have lyrics. I cant beleive I just done that.
message posted 17-Aug-10 11:41:10
good old days,eh?
message posted 18-Aug-10 09:49:15
Yup we are old....boys, old

But they were good days... Crazy chef, you were lucky in the freezer mate, I never found a waitress in there with me. (And for all you little punks, No we did not have nice warm snuggly freezer suits, you stayed in there till the job was done!!)

It reminds me of my very, very first day at work. (German head chef), anyway turned up at 5am and was tasked to the Entremetier section (like hell did you touch a knife, you cleaned and cleaned and cleaned...anyone re member copper kettle mix to clean copper pans).. getting back on track. 2 o'clock came and the afternoon shift came on, CHEF never said anything to me so I carried on, evening service came and went, then at 11pm the CHEF comes over and tells me to go home and not to f**ck with him again.... he he

I laugh at this one...You were always amazed at the CHEF's knives, there were things in there you had never seen before, one afternoon I made the mistake of touching one, before I knew it I was lying on the kitchen floor with blood pissing out of my mouth.....Chef say's, "ask me first before you f**ck my wife"....I still use that today !!

oooh the "good ol days" !!
message posted 18-Nov-10 16:32:45
Classic one Tourant !

Chef, ....." can I f**ck your wife...CHEF !!"
message posted 25-Nov-10 20:23:05

think it would be censored so bad?

Would most definitely be a best seller....

I am serious.....

Big love.
mince is mince
mince is mince
message posted 27-Nov-10 19:12:34
Yeah these young one's now haven't got a tube of glue what it was like then, i remember getting an elbow between the shoulder blades for over cooking the cauli!!! The good old days hey!
message posted 29-Nov-10 11:16:43
Good Point

Lets write a book. !!

If everyone contributed an anicdote, little story, I am sure there must be some publishers out there that do small books

Put your caps on Boys, best seller....Check On !
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